Rylan Josiah’s birth story
At 40 weeks, 3 days my doctor
decided to induce my labor. He didn’t have a particular reason other than my
being past my due date. I didn’t know much of anything so I just went with it.
I had started dilating and effacing around 38 weeks. I was 2 cm at my 38 ½
checkup…I can’t remember how much I was effaced, but I had thinned some by that
point. By the time I was past my due date I was 2 ½ cm, but hadn’t had any real
contractions other than the Braxton Hicks.
We got to the hospital around 7:30
that morning and got started on the pitocin around 8:30. If I remember
correctly the doctor broke my water an hour or two after that…maybe around 10.
Then I was informed that I couldn’t walk around or even go to the bathroom. I wasn’t too happy about that given that
I had considered having a non-medicated birth and wouldn’t be able to get in
different positions and work with the labor pains. However, I didn’t have a
birth plan and I can’t blame anyone but myself for not being prepared. When I
asked why, I was told that if the umbilical cord came out it would mean an
emergency c-section. Again, I’m not saying it was my doctor’s fault because
everything went perfectly within the “medical model” of birth.
After my membranes were ruptured
the contractions starting coming on pretty strong and I caught myself holding
my breath with every contraction. I was worried that if I wasn’t breathing
right that Rylan wouldn’t be getting the oxygen he needed. Again, I was just
“winging it” and wasn’t informed about labor and delivery. My main goal had
been to hold out as long as possible to get the epidural so that it wouldn’t be
in my system (i.e., his system very long). However, I was afraid I’d get to a
point where I wouldn’t be able to sit still through the contractions long
enough for the epidural and was afraid of being paralyzed…I know it sounds
ridiculous, but that was my worst fear during my pregnancy with Rylan. I got
the epidural when I was 6 cm dilated and 90% effaced and it was around noon. My
spine is slightly curved, so it took about 3 pokes and about 20 minutes to find
the right spot. About 30 minutes after the epidural I couldn’t feel any more
contractions.
Around 2:30 pm (rough estimate), I
started feeling really uncomfortable down below. The nurse checked me and said
I was 9 ½ cm…surprising news since my doctor had me prepared for what he said
was the average first time labor of 18 hours. Even with the epidural I felt a
lot of stretching down below. I was surprised to feel anything. I am happy that
I did feel what I felt though, because it made me feel like I was a part of it and
I think it helped me push better. Not long after the nurse said he had red hair.
I thought that meant he was about to pop right out. The doctor came in a little
after 3 and checked me. He then looked at the nurse and said, “I thought you
said she was ready.” My nurse looked surprised at his response…I was with her
on that. I got slightly worried since I felt the ring of fire going on…not as
much as an un-medicated woman would, but I felt it enough to be uncomfortable.
Then he said, “call me when she’s ready.” About 20 minutes after that he came
in again and within 5 minutes little Rylan Josiah was born at 3:40 pm! I may
have lost temporary faith in my doctor, but in the end, he knew what he was
doing. I had a partial episiotomy…my doctor and my nurse had tried “ironing,”
but decided to cut last min. The absolute best moment of my life up until this
point was when he was born and when they laid him in my arms. I remember being
in absolute AWE of him. He was looking at me and blinking his eyes over and
over again and sticking his tongue in and out. I remember thinking how mature
and real he seemed…nothing like I had imagined when he was in me. It was so
much better than that! And I was sobbing like a baby…quietly though…not in an
embarrassing way lol I remember
people talking to me, but I was in that euphoric place that I have since read
about…”over the rainbow” to put it in cheesy terms. I recently read a birth
story where the mother said, “the second he came out, it was as if he had
always been with me, he was meant to be with me.” This is the closest thing
I’ve heard to how I felt. I kept telling Cam pretty much the same thing weeks
after Rylan was born. I kept saying, “It’s like he always was…like he never
didn’t exist.”
Rylan was 7.67 lbs and 19 ½ inches.
He had a 10 Apgar score…I had to ask what that was because I didn’t have a
clue. Looking back I feel like I was pretty ignorant of everything, but luckily
everything worked out great anyway. The nurse told me afterward that my labor,
delivery and epidural were better than textbook. I was happy at first, but then
I thought, “so it could only get worse?” Food for thought for next time ;)
Cullen Isaiah’s birth story:
At 40 weeks, 1 day Cullen decided to make his appearance
into the world. I had been having pre-labor for the few weeks before. At my 39
week, 5 day check up I was almost 4 cm dilated and 75% effaced.
Sunday morning at 3:15 am I woke up with some contractions.
I went to the bathroom and went back to bed thinking if it wasn’t active labor
then why waste time and hope on thinking it might be…and if it was active labor
I would need as much rest as possible. 15 min later another one hit. I woke Cam
up and told him to pack his bag and told him he could go back to sleep after.
He decided to stay up though. The contractions continued regularly and started
getting closer together within an hour and half. I used the time to do a few
more last min things around the house and to figure out immediate plans for
Rylan, who was sleeping so peacefully in his crib. A part of me was really
excited that this was it…labor was starting on it’s own this time without
pitocin! And a part of me was hoping it would have been a little drawn out so I
could see Rylan before I left (Kelly came over to stay with him until later
on that morning when Jill and Paul would keep him). I made a couple calls…one to my doula to let her know what
was happening and then to my mom who would be present during the delivery.
After about 30 min of my contractions being about 6 min
apart we decided to head to the hospital since I was already about 4 cm dilated
and since this was my second. I also needed to get to the hospital in time to
get my Group B Strep antibiotic since I tested positive with Rylan and wanted
to play it safe with Cullen too. We got to the hospital a little after 6 and by
then my contractions were 2-3 min apart. I had a lot of back labor so my choice
laboring position was on my hands and knees. I always wondered how I would know
what position would work best, but after a few strong ones hit at home that
morning, my body just knew what it needed to do. I continued to labor this way the
entire time. Cullen was in an OP position…his head was facing up, so that’s why
I was having the back labor.
Mom and Wendy (my doula) meet us at the hospital not long
after we got there. The first hour to two hours were spent on giving me my
antibiotic and going over all the paperwork…pretty annoying when you’re in the
floor laboring on your hands and knees.
I can’t remember the exact times, but I went from 4 to 7 cm
in the first couple hours of being at the hospital. I remember the nurse asking
to check me and I told her I didn’t know if I wanted her to because I was afraid it
might discourage me. She insisted on it though. I told her if I was 5 or less
to tell me I was coming along, but not to give me a number. She checked me and
said, “you’re coming along.” I was so disappointed and then she smiled and
said, “you’re 7.” I didn’t really know what I thought of her sense of humor,
but I was relived to hear the news. Things went really quickly from there. I
had to use the restroom (for the millionth time this month) and was told it
would be my last time going, so I didn’t have him on the toilet because I was 8 cm
then. I remember having a pretty big contraction on the toilet and it was not
pleasant…I needed to be on my hands and knees. From 8 cm on I spent the rest of
labor on my hands and knees on the bed instead of the floor...which wasn't easy because the bed wasn't flat.
Somewhere between 8-9 cm I started losing it (somewhere around 9
am). I had felt so in control up until then. The contractions were coming so
quickly and I was so tired from the 2-3 min apart contractions I’d been having
since 6 that morning and from laboring on my hands and knees the entire time. I was
torn…every contraction I needed to be in my go to position, but I also felt
desperate to use my puny breaks to sit or lay back. It seemed like every time I
would sit or lay back another contraction would come and wipe me out before I
could get into position. That was the most exhausting part for sure. My mom has
always described contractions like a wave you have to “go with.” I didn’t
really get that until this point. The times I couldn’t get into position were
the times I felt like the wave was crushing me and exhausting me (like a real
wave does if you aren’t prepared to swim along with it). At one point I
remember holding on to Cam who was standing by my bed and I felt like I need to
bite something…I fought the temptation to bite his ear by biting my knuckle
instead. Later Cam said he felt me about to bite his ear and he just prayed,
“please God, don’t let her bite my ear.” lol
That last hour was the hardest hour in my entire life. I
felt like an animal on display for all to see…I’ve heard and read many times
that you get to a certain point where you don’t care. I never reached that
point. As exhausted and desperate as I felt…I still cared to keep my butt covered
every time I got into position and I was still embarrassed by my moments of
weakness that last hour. Some things I said during this time were:
*”I can’t do this”
*”I’m going to die”...statement I made about 5-10 min before
he was born. Cam was holding me and I whispered it in his ear. Thank God for
Cameron, my mom and Wendy (my doula)…I could not have done it without them!!
*I remember calling out to the doctor when he wasn’t in the
room…no clue where he was, but it was right before I started to push.
*I told the nurse, “he’s coming” and she told me to push but
I told her no. I felt the need to push, but it scared me so bad at the moment.
*“cut me,” “doctor, why won’t you cut me?” (during pushing
stage) I had put no episiotomy in my birth plan, but near the end I thought if
he would just cut me that Cullen would pop out and it would all be over.
Luckily, he didn’t listen to me because I only had a minor tear and only needed 2
stitches this time.
Oh, my water had not broken on it’s own, so I allowed the
doctor to break it around 10 cm. He offered to break it in my go to position
and I thought was so kind of him, but for some reason it was excruciating…I may
have yelled out a bad word at that moment “s***!” I apologized right after
though. I laid down and he broke it the standard way and it didn’t hurt at
all…weird.
Since Cullen’s “birth day” my mom has let me listen to a few
audios she recorded during the pushing stage. I’m glad she did because I was still
slightly embarrassed of how I thought I handled that last hour. Listening to
the audios my voice was a lot sweeter and quieter than I remembered. In my
memory I thought I was a lot louder and not so nice. Luckily I was so
exhausted, otherwise I may have been a lot louder.
Another side note: Not long after we got to the hospital my mom got me a cold washcloth...she said that helped her with her labor. I pretty much had a cold washcloth the entire time after that. Near the very end Cameron was squeezing ice cold water all over my head and arms. I remember asking him if there was plenty of water. He said there was. Later, he confessed that he was crushing ice as fast as he could to get me more water. He didn't have time to get me more, but thank God there was enough after all. Afterward, Wendy and my nurse said they had never seen or heard of anything like that before. But, it helped me a ton.
Pushing lasted about 20-30 min. His head turned to the ideal position during the pushing
stage. After his head came out there was some relief, but then I had to sit
there waiting for another contraction to help me push the rest of him out…it
was one of the strangest feelings. In no time I was holding my sweet baby boy.
I have never been so tired in my life. And I was on a natural high…not
necessarily a good thing. I remember everything and was completely there, but I
remember thinking that I just knew I looked and sounded drunk. I started
shaking a lot after he was born. It took about 30-45 min until that high passed
and I started to feel somewhat normal again. I think it’s so weird that I had
an un-medicated birth this time and felt like I had gotten shot up with
something. One more of the uncountable wonders of God…He gives you want you
need to get through!
After the nurses took him I could hear them trying to guess
how much he weighed. I thought that was strange because they didn’t do that with
Rylan. About a minute later I heard 9 lbs and was so shocked. Thank God I
didn’t know he was that big going into it! I had actually gained a couple
pounds less than I did with Rylan and Cullen weighed almost 1 ½ lbs more. I had
no idea he was so big. 9 lbs and 20 ½ inches…my big, beautiful Cullen! His
Apgar score was 8-9.
Kenzie
Rose: birth story (added 4/19/17)
Kenzie
was born at 40 weeks, 3 days. I had the longest labor with her, right at 24
hours. Contractions started around midnight February 15th, but they
were very irregular. We ran some errands that day, two of them were looking for
a gun safe of all things at Gander Mountain & Harbor Freight Tools. I
remember having one big contraction in the parking lot of Harbor Freight.
Contractions continued irregular until that evening.
I
started to have some back labor, so we called Jill and Paul and they came over
around 8pm to keep the boys. We hung out for a bit and got to the hospital
between 9-10pm. Mom, Kelly and Tami started showing up after that…they were
able to stay for her birth. I was 6 ½ cm and 90% effaced at 10:40pm; 8 ½ cm and
90-95% at 11:18pm; 9cm and 100% around midnight on the 16th.
It
started getting difficult during transition…I decided to stay in the bed once I
got to 8 1/2 cm. My back labor wasn’t as bad with Kenzie as it was with Cullen, but
I was having both back labor and regular labor with her. I chose not to have a
doula this time around since I felt more experienced. Doulas are wonderful
though and help you stay focused. Luckily, I had my team with me…Kelly and Mom
helped keep my spray bottle full while Tami held a fan towards me and sprayed
me with water (and she was in the last month of pregnancy herself!! Such a
giver.) Cam stayed by my side…adding pressure to my back when I had back labor
or just being close by if they were regular gut wrenching ones. I started to
lose confidence the last 30 min or so. I remembered how HARD it was to push
Cullen out and doubted that I had the strength to do that again if Kenzie
happened to be as big as my gentle giant. The nurse suggested half a dose of
nubane to “take the edge off.” After her assuring me that it wouldn’t hurt
Kenzie, I accepted her offer. It didn’t take away the pain, but it helped me to
relax. About 10 min later, I felt the urge to push. I told them I needed to
push and they told me the doctor was on her way. She got there just in time,
because I went ahead and pushed and my water broke, I pushed again and Kenzie’s
perfect & very considerate little head popped out and with one final push,
the rest of her came into this world. Poor Tami was still spraying because she
had already learned that I needed cold water pretty much every second of the transition
phase (I’m sure her hand was sore…she’s seriously a saint sometimes).
Kenzie
entered the world with the cheers of her Grams and Aunt Tami and Aunt Kelly and
the encouraging voice of her daddy saying, “oh, she’s out baby.” I reached down
for her and the moment I saw her I saw a strong resemblance to Rylan at birth.
Kenzie
was 7lbs 12 oz and 21 inches. I don’t remember what her Apgar score was, but it
was good enough ;)
