Anxiety: My Spiritual Warfare

When anxiety hits, the whispering lies of Satan attack me at my core…telling me that I don’t have what it takes…I’m too frail and that I’m a burden to those I love most. At the worst times, those whispers tell me that they might even be better off without me. When the light comes in and illuminates the darkness, these thoughts are absurd and absolutely ridiculous. But, in the midst of those dark moments, they are very real and I feel very broken.

The picture that comes to mind is in the movie, The Passion of the Christ, when Satan (in the form of a unisex person in some scenes and a serpent in other scenes) is whispering lies into Jesus’ ear in the garden of Gethsemane. 

In these dark moments I see this image of Satan whispering these lies and slithering all around me. 

A few Christian terms or ideas come to mind: Satan has a foothold; I must have neglected to put on the full armor of God and therefore, I wasn’t ready for his attack; God has called me to an obedient faith that directly opposes Satan’s plans for this world and so he attacks to destroy God’s work in my life. All these thoughts and more come to mind. Regardless of them all, God is sovereign, even in the midst of the storm called anxiety.  God has chosen to allow these dark moments. Does that mean I should give in and give up in the midst of the darkness? No. I cling to the gospel of Christ…all the promises God has made are “yes” in Him. He is my hope and my foundation even when it feels as though the earth is giving way underneath me. Feelings aren’t reality…His gospel is reality.

I’m not sure why God allows what He allows, but I’m fairly confident it has something to do with His glory and preparing us for greater things. I love what John Piper says, “God is always doing 10,000 things in your life, and you may be aware of three of them.” It really boils down to faith. How can we expect to understand all of God’s workings when He is the Creator and we are the created? Although we often don’t understand, we can trust Him. We can trust Him because of the cross…because of what the cross cost Him…the death of His perfect and faithful Son, on our behalf. “For God so loved the world, that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.” John 3:16 

I’ve heard quite a few accounts of people who were encouraged to read the Bible and discover God in His Word. People who were seeking, but who were yet to believe. When they came back and said, “I get it! I believe!” oftentimes it was that verse (John 3:16)…that verse that most have heard with their ears, but have yet to understand with their heart/their soul. When you see the value, the worth, the beauty of the cross, you’ll never be the same. Even though spiritual warfare will continue this side of heaven, our eyes, our hearts, and our souls have to stay focused on the cross…Jesus is our only hope of salvation: eternal salvation and salvation in the midst of trials.

“Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. Who is he that condemns? Christ Jesus who died-more than that, who was raised to life-is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?...No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels or demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:33-39

So, why am I sharing this? There are really only two reasons. I want the person who is in the same boat to know they are not alone. Not only is Christ interceding for you and me, He wants us to encourage each other and to build each other up in Him. The second reason: this darkness is real. To those who have yet to believe, I pray He becomes your hope and salvation in this dark world. To those who believe, we have a responsibility to take His light into the dark places…to the unreached places of the world where the gospel is yet to be shared. We are His ambassadors sent to the dark places of our city where the sex industry is far more prevalent than we want to think about...where child abuse is definitely more prevalent than we want to think about. I imagine not having the light of the gospel when the darkness comes...how hopeless and desperate that must be. There are so many people living in the darkness. Let’s step out in faith and extend the hope and light that we have been given in Christ.