Thoughts on motherhood/parenting lately

-nursing is one of the best things ever: soothing a baby in almost any situation and helping mommy burn calories 

-knowledge is not necessarily power...I feel like a more informed parent this time around, but it makes me more stressed knowing more potential dangers. I'm sure if I have a third I will be more informed then too...that kinda happens naturally.

-having two little ones is A LOT of work...never much time to rest unless I let things go, like the house...which I'm doing right now ;)

-time is going by so much faster with Cullen than with Rylan...he's gonna be 1 in no time it seems :(

-I'm pretty sure my sweet Rylan is acting out lately due to jealousy. He never shows any jealousy toward Cullen directly, but he acts out a lot in defiance and whininess.

-I used to want Rylan to want his mommy more, but now that he does...it's exhausting. 

-my days are filled with spit up, dirty diapers, many trips to the potty to "supervise" and keep Rylan company, feeding Cullen every 2-3 hours during the day, feeding Rylan and cleaning up his messes, trips where I weight lift 20 lbs and then 30 lbs repeatedly in and out of car seats in and out of strollers and when nap time rolls around (if Cullen is cooperative and if I can resist relaxing or watching tv) then I try to tackle laundry or cleaning up one or many of Rylan's tornado messes. Life is busy, but it is fun most of the time. Rylan keeps me laughing and Cullen's sweet snuggles and smiles are just what I need when I feel like I'm at the end of my rope. I love my boys so much and wouldn't trade my life for anything. I don't think there will be a third little Heck anytime soon though. I have my fill right now :) 

-I can't think of anyone better for me than Cameron to experience parenthood with...he is such a wonderful daddy. Always making time to play with and snuggle with his boys. Every day he gets home from work he can't wait to hold Cullen or play with Rylan. I can't imagine doing it without him. 

Cullen: 3 Months

*You sleep till somewhere b/t 5:30-7:30 each morning

*You LOVE to be talked to...you smile so big and show off that dimple that mommy loves

*you have started having some gas issues that makes your tummy hurt...still not as bad as your big brother had so we're happy about that

*You do not like bottles and won't eat more than a couple ounces from one and you don't like nursing under the cover either...makes our outings a little tricky or short

*You haven't liked your paci for a while now...you prefer your hand. It sounds painful, but you love sticking your fist in your mouth and sucking away. We think you'll suck your thumb, but who knows

*You are still very easy going and hardly ever get upset...I wonder how long this will last

*You are becoming more vocal...you love to interact with us when we talk to you, coo at you or whistle

*You are wearing 6-12 month clothing and weigh close to 20 lbs now...my gentle giant

Rylan's Birthday Weekend

Friday, on his actual birthday Cam stayed home for the first part of the day

We relaxed and had a good birthday breakfast

Then we went to Bridgestreet and bought a new hat and sunglasses since mommy forgot to bring his

We shared an icy drink at Lime

Ate a cookie with some of the aunts

Saturday, we celebrated Catherine's birthday party and had SO much fun on the inflatables

And getting new toys...and three pieces of cake (since he dropped the first two...I was a little distracted)

Fun pic of all the kids at her party

Sunday, Rylan's circus theme party (favor table)

Cam's mom made this beautiful cake

In our cicus attire

Opening LOTS of gifts

Enjoying some of those gifts :)

Cullen: 2 Months

*You love to be held. You demand it a lot of the time.
*You love to be talked to.
*You have a pretty set schedule...you wake up around 4 or 5 to eat and usually will go back to sleep for a little while
*You usually give the most smiles in the morning.
*Unlike your big brother you fall asleep very easily at bedtime, but you also wake up earlier. You're my early morning bird and big brother used to be my night owl.
*You still nurse fairly often...every 2-3 hours during the day.
*I catch you watching me walk around the room sometimes. I'm sure I'm a big blur from that distance though.
*You're wearing 3-6 and 6 months clothing.
*I love when you're smiling and you wrinkle your nose...such a beautiful smile. And you try to talk to us sometimes. You move your tongue back and forth and open your mouth pretty wide. Sometimes you'll say "ahhh" or something like that.
*You enjoy warm baths like mommy...and you even enjoy your face being wiped off with a warm cloth...you just smile.

Letter to my little man on his 2nd bday

Rylan,

My precious first born...you are about to turn 2. I can't believe how fast you have grown into such a smart and able toddler. And yet, when I think about how much a part of us you are and how well we know you and you know us it seems like much longer than just 2 years.

Rylan, you are always amazing me. You are so smart and perceptive...you pick up anything and everything. Each new step you face you conquer pretty effortlessly and easily. And you are so sweet. Don't get me wrong...you have your defiant moments that drive me crazy sometimes, but there is such a sweetness and gentleness about you. I see it the most when you're around other kids...you observe them and slowly begin to interact with them. You seem happy to be invited to play, yet content if no invitation is given. I pray you continue to know the blessing of being content in all circumstances (I know that's a stretch for 2 years old though haha). And you are so sweet and gentle with your little brother. Always kissing him and wanting to hold him. You haven't had any reservations on inviting him into our family. You seem to care for him in your affection and wanting him to be a part of things sometimes. 

Some of my favorite times with you lately are in the mornings when I get you out of the crib and you snuggle with me for a few minutes before we start our day and at night when we read together. I love how excited you get about reading the same book over and over and how you emphasize your favorite parts of each one. 

I love how you put a little bit of a lisp on certain words, "nuts," "Pops." And I love to hear you say some of your favorite phrases: "it's not working," "watch this," "ooookaaaay," 

When you want something...a certain snack or book and you haven't made up you mind yet which one, you say, "this, this" and point your finger and smile. 

I wish I could record every detail and every memory, but there are far too many and it's only the beginning :). I love life with you Rylan and I can't tell you how blessed I am to be your mom...I feel so unworthy sometimes. I am so thankful for you my sweet, smart, adorable, loving, energetic and so fun little boy! I look forward to each new memory with you, your precious little brother Cullen and your amazing daddy. 

Happy 2 years to you, Rylan Josiah Heck! I pray you grow in wisdom and character each year and that you always know contentment and love. I love you with everything in me.

Mommy

Rylan: 2 years old

My little man is 2 years old!

Here are a few of the million things you say:

*Don't want it" and you make us take whatever it is you have instead of just laying it down (mainly with food)

*"what mommy got/have?" "what daddy got/have?" (insert name, etc) You say this mainly with food also

*"...ookaaay" Whatever you say and you add this to the end very confidently like you're gonna get it...ex. "jelly beans...ookaaay" :)

*When referring to food: "it's hot," "daddy blow on it," "fries," "more sauce," "I hold it," "big boy sip"

*"mommy, couch," "daddy, pillow" (wanting daddy to lay on the pillow), "mommy, floor" (again, insert name) You have an idea of where you want people and try to tell them where they should go

*Lately, you just randomly say words as they come to your mind: "cheerios, I cream (ice cream), uummy snake (gummy snacks), chips, aaapple juice" etc

*"hold you"

*"bye Kaphrine, uuv ew" (bye Catherine, love you)

*We started praying with you at bedtime about a couple months ago. You know to hold our hands...you watch us while we pray and sometimes say, "mommy or daddy" during the prayer. And sometimes say "amen" before we're done.

*"don't do that right there"...you mean, "don't do that"

*"ready?" Usually when you're about to throw a frisbee or a ball

*"what time is it?" You love when daddy asks you that...you just laugh a crazy laugh and ask it back

*"I push it," "I do it" Mr. Independent

*"It's not working" Anytime something isn't doing what you want...ex. when you're drinking something out of a straw and it's empty or if you have the cup tilted and you can't get any drink out...or just with about anything. Today you ate daddy's salsa and he told you it was hot...you blew on it and then ate it and started whining and say, "it's not working" lol

*"Reeech" (Reach) You stretch your hand out and lunge as far as you can go and say "reeech" in a breathy, strained voice

*"lay baby down," "baby Cullen hoppy" etc when you want us to hold you or play with you

""I burped," "I pooped" Nice manners

*"watch this" He loves for people to watch him while he's showing off

*"It's expensive" Another way to say things are off limits...The first time he said it was when I was blowing on his belly and he said, "No! It's expensive"

You're always making us laugh

Cullen: 1 Month

-You eat about every 2-2 1/2 hrs lately, but you usually nurse in 25-30 min so I don't mind too much.

-You've started spitting up quite a bit...fun stage of lots of clothing changes.

-You don't really like falling asleep during the day on your own...you start to fall asleep for a while, but then wake up until I give you your paci or hold you and then you fall asleep in no time. 

-You are still doing well at night. You usually fall asleep on your own as long as gas isn't giving you a problem. 

-You wake up twice during the night. When you get up the second time around 5 or 6 you usually don't want to go back to sleep until close to 8... which really stinks since that's when your brother usually wakes up, so mommy doesn't get to go back to sleep when you do that. 

-You've had a surprisingly strong neck since you've been born. You hardly ever sit still when you're being held...you're either bopping that head around or rooting. A couple times a day you'll look around and soak everything in, but those moments don't seem to last very long. 

-We go back and forth b/t swaddling and not. You don't really seem to have a preference. 

-You still wear some 0-3 months clothing, but 3 months clothing fits best. Everyone thinks you're older than you are. 

-I weighed you in my arms today and then subtracted my weight...according to that method you weigh 13 lbs!!! I can tell you've grown, but that's a little ridiculous! 

-You still don't cry much, but you grunt all the time...you're our little gremlin :)